Peter Cooper: Dont bet against Britney Spears - The Tennessean (blog)

Click the image to see a gallery of Britney Spears through the years (photo: Tony Avelar / AP).

On a pretty September evening, a decade and 10 months ago, a sold-out crowd at AmSouth Amphitheatre peered towards the massive stage. The audience was mostly clumps of excited, preadolescent girls, each clump directed by a rattled-looking mother whod agreed to cart her daughter and the daughters school friends to the show.

The occasion was a concert by 19-year-old Britney Spears, an ex-Mouseketeer whose visage appeared on a big screen before the show, shilling for the tours sponsor, milk. (Not any particular brand of milk, just milk.)

I think its important that you have, like, vitamins and minerals in your body and everything, pre-show video Britney assured.

Then Spears put on the sort of show that normally signals the end of teen pop idol status and the beginning of the slow descent to unhappy, post-teen pop idol adulthood. (See Garrett, Leif for further information.) She slithered, cooed and primped sexily for her rapt crowd of children, most of whom were too young for junior varsity cheerleading team consideration. Her thin voice was unheard for much of the night, as she lip-synched through her hits.

She wore a black bra and black tights and thanked all the parents out there for bringing their kids. In my review of the show, I noted It was more than a little strange to stand next to an 11-year-old girl (sample quote: Brit-naaaay!!!) and watch a scantily clad young lady bang herself against a pole.

But in that review, I also wrote something that seemed obvious at the time, but that has turned out to be entirely incorrect. Playing off Spears Got milk? advertising, I typed, Got moves? Absolutely. Got money? Yep. Got singing talent? No. Got staying power? Got to be kidding.

(Ack, by the way. I could never, never write low-level snark like that about a 19-year-old these days. 20-year-old? Sure. File under, Jerk, What A.)

There was no way that this thing could possibly last. No way. And that was before all the scandals: A 55-hour first marriage; an insane second marriage; a motherhood that in no way impeded partying with clearly classy pals Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton; rehab; re-rehab; child neglect allegations; self-inflicted baldness; and involuntary psychiatric hold status at a hospital.

Hey, nothing we havent all been through.

Finally, in 2008, a court order gave Spears father whats called conservatorship over her. At 27 years old, she legally couldnt do anything sing, party or watch SportsCenter without her dads permission.

Turns out her dad does allow her to make music and to perform. And, while those performances sometimes find her seeming more catatonic than captivating, none of this stuff has hurt her career even a whit. Shes sold more than 33 million albums across the globe, and lately every new set of songs gets labeled a comeback album because of something she, her family or her scalp and hair have gone through.

But in reality, none of them are comebacks. Theyre all never-gone-aways. Spears celebrity is everywhere, all the time, even when her father hasnt given her permission to be anywhere at all. Her vocals these days are listless, but her career is an aggressive and unqualified success.

The 8-year-old girls at that long-ago AmSouth show, the ones I figured would be put off by all the slithering and pole banging, are now 19 and sneaking into dance clubs to writhe around to Spears electronically processed voice mouthing words that seem lifted from an old Bellamy Brothers country song. (The BBs had one called If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body and Brit Brit has one called Hold It Against Me. Were waiting for a collaboration called Would You, which would complete the corny come-on phrase.)

Perhaps those 19-year-olds will be in attendance at Spears Bridgestone Arena show Monday night, and perhaps theyll find nice young men to dance with, and perhaps the whole lot of them will get together and one day form families and have little girls and boys who will cling to Spears every new album, song and TMZ appearance.

Perhaps 50 years from now, the 9-year-olds from the AmSouth show will bring their grandchildren to a massive, multi-purpose outdoor stadium, and three generations will band together in screaming Brit-naaaay!!! while a 79-year-old Spears slides down a pole, lip-synching and wearing a bra and an adult diaper.

Im not saying itll happen, Im saying Im out of the betting-against-Britney-Spears business.

Now if youll excuse me, I have an image to go wipe from my mind.

Reach Tennessean music writer Peter Cooper at 615-259-8220 or pcooper@tennessean.com

IF YOU GO
What: Britney Spears with Nicki Minaj
When: 7 p.m. Monday, July 18
Where: Bridgestone Arena (501 Broadway)
Tickets: $27 - $347.50


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