Blanchette: Leaf isnt trying to rewrite his unflattering history - The Spokesman-Review
October 13, 2011 in Sports
Slumped in a lobby chair big enough to accommodate both Ryan Leafs before and after the current version was exploring the challenges of rehabilitating a good life and a goodname.
The old addictions, arrogance, demons, fears, mistakes, personal shortcomings all are fair game in an exchange with the man who quarterbacked Washington State into the national football conversation 14 years ago before failure in the pros turned him into a national punch line. Like a Corleone, he keeps his friends close but those enemies to his better angels closer, having found that owning up is healthier than ignoringthem.
Still, he remains suspicious ofperceptions.
I am dumbfounded by the ability of people to take what theyve read or seen as fact, Leaf said. I live by a different code. I dont judge anybody. I dont think Ive had hatred for anybody, and I think for a long time people literally hated me. The emotion behindthat
At which point, a stranger a football fan with a strong antenna strolled by and patted him on theshoulder.
I dont hate you, the man said. Youre a goodman.
Ryan Leaf insists that people rarely surprise him. His expression during this encounter suggested otherwise. Or maybe it was delight on unearthing an anecdote for anotherbook.
Leaf returned to eastern Washington on Wednesday in advance of Wazzus homecoming gala against Stanford on Saturday, but also to launch the tour for his book the first of three hes contracted to write for Crimson Oak Publishing of Pullman. If a trilogy seems a tad ambitious or presumptuous for a sports figure who won exactly four games as an NFL quarterback, well, it is. On the other hand, no one will ever deny that Leaf has one hell of a tale totell.
The first volume is 596 Switch, an account of his WSU years with particular emphasis on the spectacular 1997 season that ended 2 seconds and 26 yards from a victory in the Rose Bowl. The title is the play the Cougars would have run had the officials not ruled that time had expired before Leaf spiked the ball to stop theclock.
Leaf, in the meantime, works earnestly on the play he should have run growing into a life that went from famous to notorious. Not that hes looking fordo-overs.
The price of my new life is my old life, he said. That doesnt change anything and Im not trying to change anybodys opinion ofme.
Im just trying to be a betterperson.
If you were on campus during the Leaf years, you may recall an unfavorable encounter, or once heard a third-hand one well embellished. The telling rookie tantrum survives on YouTube right under the reconciling radio moment he had more recently with the target of hisrage.
All the stories and stats that point to the No. 2 NFL pick of 1998 being the biggest bust in draft history are available on the Internet, a verdict Leaf will notdispute.
In his book and in conversation, Leaf admits that foregoing his senior year at WSU was a mistake, even though his draft stock would never have beengreater.
I just wasnt mature enough, he said. the thing is, we would have struggled the next year. We lost 28 seniors and we would have lost some games and that would have prepared me for failure a little bit. Also, I think the magnifying glass would have been stronger I probably would have been the leading candidate for the Heisman and I would have had to deal with that. Either it would have turned me into a bigger egomaniac, or brought me down a size realquick.
More problematic, of course, was the chronic wrist injury that cut short his career and helped lead to an addiction to painkillers which eventually led to his biggest fall, the burglary of a players home while he coached at West Texas A&M, his subsequent plea to drug charges and his stay inrehab.
Except the last part is also his biggesttriumph.
Before that, I dont remember spending five hours on myself in an introspective light ever, hesaid.
Im never going to have anonymity, not only with addiction but anything else. To deal with that, I have to be open and honest publicly and allow myself to be a part of a helpful process with others. My storys no different than thousands of others, except in this day and age people listen to someone who has some celebrity. Thats a shame, but thats thecase.
But not everyone needs to hear about recovery. In his re-entry into the public eye, Leaf has been regaled with stories like that of the two Cougs whose father predicted the glory of 1997 early that season, but died before he could see it. The brothers bought an extra ticket to the Rose Bowl and let the seat go empty intribute.
Back in the day, I was too self-involved to hear those stories, he said. I was always wondering when it would get around tome.
Now that his is between hard covers, he can listen like neverbefore.
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